Perfect For Me

This is the main reason why I wait on you!

I don’t know where you are, what are the things you enjoy and love to do,

What makes you mad, what excites you and how you want to do the things your way but one things for sure I’ll be ready when God let our worlds intertwine.

By that time I’ll be wholeheartedly ready to take you all in and love you with all my heart, but for now! Let us enjoy what we have and try to be the best person we could be for one another! 😻

P.S I haven’t met you yet but I know that God made you perfect for me 🙏🏻 he waited this long for us to ready ourselves from one another ❤️

I Give Up!

I give up!

I give up with all the possibilities of loving again.

I give up!

of the thought that someone is still out there for me.

I give up!

That’s what I’ve been telling myself.

but then you came unexpectedly.

and you know what you did?

you laughed on a comment that slipped my mouth, and just then everything started falling apart.

my walls, my guard and the thought of giving up.

Tell You This

I want to tell you how you always made my day,

I want to tell you how much I want to be the person who makes you smile and laugh

I want to tell you that I want to be the one who will treat you right

I want to tell you how much I fucking care whether its the big thing or the smallest detail

I want to tell you that I don’t want to be with anyone because I only want you

I want to tell you I love you

Maybe, I’ll tell you all of this when I’m ready to get hurt

All of this

I want to grab the moon and give it to you,

I want to stop the world from rotating and be stuck in the moment with you!

I want to stay close to you until your warmth is the only thing that keeps me sane.

I want my lips to conquer yours until the butterflies in my stomach flew and become a whole damn zoo.

I want to live a well spent years with our hearts tied as one.

I want all of this, but do you also want this too?

Chess

Stop playing this game of chess with me where I have to watch your every move just to protect the king thats is my heart.

I’m tired of thinking what could possibly a good move to take some of your pawns and win this over.

But I have to admit I’m not good with this and I’m willing to surrender and lose it all just to make you happy and put a smile on your face.

Even though it means that I could lose my heart and have it broken by this game you play.

but please and please stop playing this game with me. I’m running out of moves to protect my heart.

Only You

There are a lot of things I think about like how I wish,

I could hold your hand after a long tiring day, see your smile that I know will brighten up my day, feel your warmth as you lay beside me and just be in your presence that can be my resting place.

I want all of this, I thought I just want it! The idea of having someone to do all of these things but I’m wrong.

Coz I want all of this with you!

Only you.

In My World

I want a world where the sun sets up in the sky the same time as it sets on yours.

I want a world where we can walk the same streets every day.

I want a world where we share the same season.

I want a world where I can see you whenever I wanted to.

I want a world where touching you is possible.

I want a world where your hugs can be my cure or my stress reliever.

I want a world where kissing you can be real.

I want a world where there’s you and me.

because I would rather have you in My world than not at all.

Would you Mind?

Would you mind If it’s your lips I want to kiss?

Would you mind if I still dream on holding you tonight?

Would you mind if I miss the scent of your cigarette?

Would you mind if the wind remind me of our time in the balcony?

Would you mind if I hold on to the memories?

Would you mind if I’ll stay here until you realize that it could be me?

Would you mind if I’ll wait for you until my heart stops loving you?

Would you mind if I cry tonight cause I want this all to end.

Never Will Be Perfect

Stared at the darkness of the night
hoping that a little star will shine its light
and somehow direct a way to you.

Watched the oceans raging waves
as I try to take a breather and calm my nerves
cause maybe this will help until you’re finally here.

Grasped some sand into my hands and slowly let them slip off my hand
believing that in a world of 7 billion people
there’s a possibility of You and I.

And with this empty space beside me on the beach
I just hope that someday I’ll be here with you on my arms
cause this moment will never be perfect until you

I’ll Try

Now that you found me, please don’t ever let me go.
I’ll try not to get mad even when I’m jealous because I trust you.
I’ll try to be a good listener so that you know that you can talk to me about everything.
I’ll try to understand you and not let argument come between us.
I’ll try to be honest with you and tell you if something’s bugging me.
I’ll try to be everything you need because I want us to last.
and I’ll try to give you the best love story that you’ve been dreaming about.

Please

Please, ask me to stop before my world starts to revolve around you.
Please, ask me to stay away before I can’t let you go anymore.
Please, ask me to leave before I choose to stay for good.
Please, ask me to not love you before my feelings goes out of hand.
Please, ask me now because I am starting to fall for you.

Someday

Someday I will wake up next to you
and thank God for the chance to be in your presence.
Someday I will be the first voice you’ll hear in the morning
and I’ll listen to yours as my favorite sound.
Someday I will be able to hold your hand
and watch our hands intertwine perfectly.
Someday I will watch the stars in the sky with you by my side
and steal glances because I won’t be able to believe that you are now here with me.
Someday I will be everything you need
your best friend, partner in crime and your number one fan.
Someday it will be you and me
and the long wait will be worth it.

I Might Not

I might not know what you really feel
I might not know how hard it is for you to pretend everything is okay
I might not know how unfair you see life
and I might not know how long your heart can handle the pain

but I just want you to know
that I hope that everyday, I can do something to take away the pain
that I hope you’ll know how great you are
that I hope someday you’ll find the person who will love you and not let you go

just remember,
that as long as I breathe
I’ll be here ready to listen to your life’s rants
ready to make you feel how you should be loved
because you are meant to be loved with someone’s whole heart
meant to be taken care of with someone’s whole might
and meant to be valued as someone’s most valuable possession
you are you and because of that I love you!

End Game

END GAME

It’s the movie people are talking about, people wants to get ahead to spoil it out or just to feel good about themselves because they’ve seen it first.
but for me, I just want to see it for the fun and excitement it built since Infinity War.
but being here, in this jampacked cinema. With the lights off and people mumbling with how excited they are.
All I can feel is the emptyness it gave.
I remember the last time I was here, It was better than this.
I might didn’t get the chance to hold your hand, or put my arm around you.
but it was worth it.
and I’ll choose to be there for a hundred times again with you than to be here alone.
feeling incomplete because you are the missing piece in this moment.
I won’t forget you breathing next to me.
and how I enjoy stealing glances on your beautiful face.
how you gasped for every shocking part.
how you laughed when RDJ got it good.
how you ask questions to clarify things
and how you just made that night perfect!

Done

 

I’m done pretending that I don’t mind how you neglect me.

I’m done acting that I have it all together emotionally.

I’m done hoping that there’s a good thing that might come up with this.

I’m done looking for possibilities.

I’m done wishing for us.

I’m just done.

I don’t want to be in this place anymore.

I just have to be free.

I would rather be alone than to be neglected.

I would rather cry myself to sleep than to endure another year being here.

I don’t want any piece of you.

I’m not mad, I just want to be happy.

I just want to be okay.

I just want to not remember you.

 

A Message For You

To the one who’s meant for me,

I don’t know where you are right now. what you are going through, are you happy in someone’s presence or are you enjoying the single life.

I might not know if you are slowly picking yourself to be whole again or just going through a recent heart break.

But one things for sure, I’ll be here.

waiting for you, fixing myself to be the best for you and continuously learning to be ready to love you just how you are meant to be love.

I’ll be here and by that time, no more games, no more immature thoughts, no more egos.

just me, loving you whole heartedly because you don’t deserve to be half loved.

you deserve a love that will remind you everyday that you are worth it, a love that will make you feel like the most precious gem on earth, a love that will be willing to move mountains just to make you happy.

I’m Okay

Sometime I just want to cry, tell you everything I’ve been feeling inside.

the pain that’s been knocking me down,

the fear that causes me to shut down,

the worries that eats up my insides,

and the emptiness that’s been killing me everyday.

I wanted to tell you but I can’t get the right words to leave my mouth.

how can I explain it, if I don’t even know what it is.

I’m strong that’s what I’ve been telling myself.

I can do this that’s the attitude i grew up into.

this will come to pass, that’s the hope my heart cries for

and this will end, that’s what I’m longing for.

or maybe, I’m just too tired I wrote this.

 

Maybe

Maybe I just wanted to talk to you about how my day went

Maybe I just wanted to tell you how happy I was

Maybe I just wanted to sit next to you, and lay my head in your shoulders

Maybe I just wanted to let you know how hard I try to meet life’s requirements

Maybe I just wanted your hands on mine as I rest

Maybe I just wanted to claim your lips and make everything go away

Maybe, I just wanted to be with you tonight  as I count the stars and wish that me and you can still happen.

Never Be The Same

Been in the office quite too long tonight felt like a stranger being here I tried sitting on the desk where I used to be.

I remember having your pictures on my work station, well cause you inspire me to work hard.

I remember stealing glances at you whenever I feel stressed or my mind can’t function, deep down I hope you’re near.

I remember that lunch break excites me not because of the food but because I can sit next to you, and yes, how I wish I can always be next to you.

I remember getting stressed out with what to wear the next day cause I always want to look good for you, but I always fails.

I remember waiting for Mondays to come cause I can finally see you, weekends always felt too long and totally sucks.

I remember loving this place because you are here, and without you in it the feelings and the excitement will never be the same.

Puzzle Piece

I hate this, I hate counting out days until you say goodbye.

I hate that you are not the first person I see when I wake up and the last person I say goodnight to, I hate that I won’t get to see you everyday. I hate that I won’t see that smile that always lightens up my day, that crumpled brows that always puts me in silence, that laugh that is contagious and that beautiful face that always puts me in awe.

I’m not prepared for this.

I’m not and I don’t want you to go, things might not sink yet in my head but you just don’t know how scared I am with what the future holds. Lots of what ifs that makes me over think. Makes me scared to face that this could be the end of our story.

I’ll miss the late nights talks on the balcony, the face you make when you find me annoying, the way you mimic my laugh, the way you memorize and hated my puppy dog eyes, and the way we always, always fight everyday.

But I guess it is something I have to accept and just learn to forget.

like a lost puzzle piece.

 

 

What do I know that I don’t know?

What do I know that I don’t know?

I know that you are not good for me but I don’t know how to stop wanting you.

I know that this will hurt like hell but I don’t know how to let go.

I know that beer won’t work anymore but I don’t know what will.

I know that whatever I do nothing will make you fall for me but I don’t know if I can ever stop waiting.

I know that this is not a love story with a good ending but I don’t know how to stop hoping for it to be.

I know that I will never be good enough but I don’t know how to stop wishing I could be the one for you.

I know that I love you but I don’t know how to stop loving you.

Three Words

There are words my mouth can’t utter.

There are words that run in my head, thousand of times.

There are words I don’t know when to say.

but every part of my being expresses it through my actions.

The way my eyes speaks when it looks at you.

The way my skin longs from your touch.

The way my hand shakes when it holds you near.

And the way my heart beats so fast when I’m with you.

Trust me, there are words I’ve been dying to tell you.

Three words that connects me and you.

Three words that’s been giving me a reason to stay.

Three words that I will never get tired to make you feel

And three words that someday.

While I’m hoping, wishing, and waiting.

You’ll say it back.

 

 

 

 

I’m Sorry

Sorry.

For still being here.

For still caring for you.

For liking every part of you.

And for never stopped loving you.

There are things I can’t control, trust me I’ve tried so many times.

I’ve tried to move forward, talked with other girls.

tried to go on a date but who am I kidding? It is still you.

The person who I want to wake up to everyday.

fight everyday.

and just love,

Everyday.

 

Cigarette

I always hated the smell of cigarette smoke, and too afraid of what it can do to my lungs. just the thought of it makes me puke or gag.

But then, you came and with every puff of your smoke makes me change my mind.

I forgot that I hated it because all I want is to stay wherever you are, I don’t mind the smoke anymore.

I forgot that It is my biggest turn off because it is something you love. I guess I have to get used to it because I accept you. every part of you.

I’ve learned to let go of hating it, because what you love matters to me more. The smoke consumed my heart and makes me change my beliefs.

Well I have to admit.

I forgot that it is not good for me and so are you.

But with my every nerves fighting against it, it is my heart winning and continuously beating for you.

Near You

         

         Am I drunk? Or just sleepy? I can’t stay awake. My head is spinning and I’m definitely on the verge of puking, so I slow down and just stop things from moving. I sit still as I feel her heat seeping into me. I don’t want to move away. I know I might regret it for the rest of the day, for weeks, or even for months, but I lean on the other side of the sofa anyway.

               I have to or I won’t have control over the alcohol that’s starting to kick in. I want to stay connected to her to be assured that she is close, that she will not leave. I push my luck and put my hand on her knees. It stays there and I move it onto her lap. My eyes are close the whole time but I can feel our hands touching whenever she moves or does something with her phone. I can feel her moving next to me as she sings and moves to the beat of the sounds while my hand stays in its rightful place. This is good. This is the heat that can calm my every nerve, and yes! This is where I just want to stay. Near her. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want this moment to end. I might not be able to hold her hand the way I always wanted to but just the thought of her this close is more than enough for me.

             I’m just thankful that this is happening, but all happiness has to come to an end. The party ends and she takes my hand off her lap and puts it back on mine. I feel her move and I know that she is about to move away. My heart begs for her to stay and my mind wants me to do something about it. Stop her. She leaves right before I even make a move, and she never comes back.